WASHINGTON, Oct. 10, 2015 â€“ We were stunned today when we stumbled across this Oct. 7 Internet headline shocker and its mind-boggling headline photo, featured above on the article.
Hillary adopts new â€˜gothâ€™ look to appeal to youth
The source? A hitherto unknown (to us) webzine calledÂ The Dandy Goat.
According to the Goat, the Hillary Clinton team has decided to launch yet another makeover project for the fading Democrat front-runner in the 2016 presidential sweepstakes.
Fearing that her popularity among young voters has fallen to a critically low point, presidential candidate Hillary Clinton has adopted a so-called â€˜gothicâ€™ look to appeal to millennials whom her advisors describe as suffering from angst and alienationâ€¦.
Clinton showcased her new look at an event in Iowa on Wednesday, speaking at a 4-H club while dressed in an Edwardian corset, a lacy black dress, knee-high studded boots and a variety of occult jewelry.
â€œLook around, my fellow Americans, and youâ€™ll see that everything is in a state of decay,â€ Clinton said. â€œThe only certainty in life is death, and it is death we must espouse if we are to live fully.â€
Itâ€™s not certain whether Hillary was referring to Planned Parenthood in her comment.
Hillary vs. the flying saucers
Okay. As youâ€™ve probably figured out by now, The Dandy Goat reports the news (or non-news) with the same devil-may-care satirical attitude pioneered by the venerable Onion and (sometimes) South Park, but, it seems, with a more definitively conservative-libertarian twist.
If thereâ€™s anything American politics could use right now, itâ€™s more rather than less of this kind of ridicule. The Goatâ€™s reportage on the alleged goth makeover of The Smartest Woman in the World is not much of a stretch when you consider how many times sheâ€™s already attempted to reboot her inherently obnoxious, condescending and utterly insincere self. Indeed, contemporary American politics continuously providesÂ would-be satirists with an almost historically target-rich environment.
Hint to Hillary: nothing will help your campaign until and unless you stop lying about Benghazi, those thousands of illegal (and perhaps treasonous) emails and the obvious money collecting and laundering efforts of that so-called â€œcharitableâ€ Clinton Foundation. Honestly, weâ€™re not even sure at this point that telling the truth will be nearly enough to overcome your inherent creepiness and utter lack of human authenticity.
Bernie and Hillaryâ€™s Dueling socialisms
And seriously, you gotta love a site that describes its staff thusly:
â€œOur team consists only of men. Weâ€™d like to have women writeÂ for us, really. Itâ€™s just that weâ€™re so cash-strapped that weâ€™d only be able to payÂ themÂ 77 cents for every dollarÂ theÂ rest of us earn.â€
Sounds kind of like the ongoing male-female pay differential in the Obama White House.
*Note: Our headline graphic is a reduction of the creatively doctored original serving as the illustration for Dandy Goatâ€™s Hillary report. Itâ€™s entitled â€œGoth Girl,â€ and itâ€™s credited to Marius Werner as best we can ascertain. Hat tip goes to Instapundit via Ed Driscoll for the original link.